Learning From Horses

Getting horses has probably been one of the biggest decisions we have made, up there with starting a family and getting married. It's not something we have taken on lightly, we researched the idea by devouring books and internet websites and forums, talked to and visited horse owners, we took riding lessons and attended a few courses on horse handling and training. Of course you can do all of these things for years but you can't even begin to scratch the surface of the equine world without having some in your care and some carefully chosen guides. We are beginning to scratch that surface now.

At first we were all quite frightened, both the horses and the humans! Of course that's not the best scenario, but we all have to start our equine learning somewhere. It doesn't matter how many horses you handle on a course, they are all different and the chances of the horses you buy having identical personalities, insecurities or strengths of those you've previously experienced are virtually nil. That, I'm beginning to see, is part of the beauty of equines. They are as diverse in personality as human beings, and so the methods of teaching horses must be diverse enough to suit the needs of whatever horse you happen to become the guardian of. Owning a horse does not come without risk, it's a gargantuan and incredibly strong animal, and that's also something you need to weigh up.

Taking on these animals is a huge commitment both in terms of responsibility for their welfare but also in time and money. If we want these horses to be useful and happy working animals then we need to put in the time with them nearly every day, handling them, getting to know them, building a relationship with them and training them. It's a twenty plus years commitment. There have been times when I've seriously questioned what on earth we were doing getting horses, there have been people who have been wholly positive and supportive, there has been a minimum amount of undermining negativity and that led me to totally re-evaluate the whole idea ... I've been willing to admit if we were just plain stupid to take on such a massive commitment. Thankfully we have come through it with support and help from some amazing people who pulled us through with pure encouragement and belief in our abilities.

We are working with Sally and Conan at home with a trainer who visits us once a week for a three hour session and is pretty much available on the phone if we have problems in between.  Her approach is to train the owner to read and train the horse, so that when she leaves, we have the knowledge to carry on in the right vein. We fully intend to carry on doing our very best and if at any point we feel it's not the best approach for the horses welfare then we will re-evaluate again. But we are 100% in and thoroughly enjoying it and we are not going to throw in the towel without doing everything in our power to be good owners and trainers, we owe them that. Having said all that, I wouldn't encourage somebody else to do the same thing without first talking to them sincerely and honestly about the challenges we have faced emotionally in our journey to date. Keeping horses not only requires you to learn about horses, but also to identify and face up to weaknesses in yourself that need to be addressed. It requires you to delve deep into your inner strength and stillness, which can be frightening, because well, what if it isn't there? I've not only learned about how I need develop my skills and address my personal weaknesses to 'be' around horses, but also these skills have given me a level of personal development within myself and in my own personal relationships with people. I've not doubt there'll be a lot more to learning to do, a lifetime of it.

The approach we have decided to take is working wonders. It's neither a pure traditional or a natural horsemanship approach. It's a hybrid of many training techniques which takes on board the methods that work best from each school of thought and gives the most positive result in terms of experience for both the horse and it's handler. What we love most about this method is that the trainer, Cathy Griffin, comes to our home to teach us and she instills the confidence in us to feel like we can truly achieve a positive result and to choose from a range of approaches, choosing what works in our own particular case.

After six weeks we have come from being scared of these massive strong creatures which unsettled them, to loving the time we spend around them. We are seeing huge changes in our own confidence, and consequently theirs. Their behaviour towards us is evolving positively as we learn how to read their body language and act accordingly.  We are building slowly and steadily on our relationship with them and as our trust grows in each other we are achieving some great results and responses. It's all hard work and commitment and nothing of the nature I had imagined it would be like!

Sally is nervous and so we are generally working on her very gently. Our approach is not to teach her initially how to perform the tasks we ask of her perfectly, but to attempt to perform any response in a relaxed 'soft' way. That's our aim, to help her to soften up, relax, gain confidence and have fun. Over the last three weeks we have seen her relax and open up, it's wonderful. With that achieved we are now perfecting some of the movements we have taught her. She is a very fast learner and extremely sensitive. She will now perform some tasks by verbal command, and others with a point, or a gentle tap on the rope with my finger. This week Cathy has given us a specific thing to 'ask' Sally to do, which is a big deal for a horse as it leaves them feeling vulnerable and they must really trust their handler to put themselves softly into this position. She was able to demonstrate it on Conan because being young he has no trust issues or emotional baggage and did it immediately!

When we first got the horses I naievely thought 'ah, foal, cute, easy, cuddly'. I have learned quickly that being responsible for a foal is a serious business and a huge responsibility, whatever we teach, or fail to teach him now, will set him up for the life he will lead. It's up to us to make sure he grows into a safe and respectful animal. Conan is a whole other horse and totally different in comparison to Sally.  He is a young 7 month old colt full of the joys of life. He loves racing around the field, throwing his head, kicking and rearing. He wants to play! He isn't scared or nervous at all and performs everything with gusto but we just have to make sure he doesn't encroach on our personal space in case he can't help trying to 'play' with us, which would hurt! In two weeks he has gone from being a live wire on the rope to being respectful of our space and eager to be asked to do plenty of tasks. If we don't keep him busy in a training session he gets bored, after all he's only a kid, so we keep his lessons very short but interesting. He is full of spirit and a joy to be around.

Comments

[Polly Pierce]

Hi Rebecca!

Congratulations on your horses and getting used to working with them! It's a huge step and like most other things you will triumph...

It's great to see the e-book store looking so good too.

Best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

[Lisa D]

I admire the work you are doing. Congratulations on the work with the horses. They are quite a responsibility. We have had horses for 7 years now, though they are for pleasure and not work. I have also seen our family develope with these awesome creatures and myself surpass the fear boundary. They are unbelievable animals and will give an equal amount to what they receive from their caregivers. I wish you all the best.

[maria]

Keep up the good work. I think the fact that keeping horses is so hard and challenging is what makes it so wonderful. Well done....

[Cindy Jones]

I too got my first horse as an adult (for my son who no longer rides!). I really think that one thing that keeps us from getting old is learning new things. So I am sure you will stay young forever! Although it can be hard in the winter - Enjoy your horses and good luck.

[garden]

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['EF']

Hello Becky, bit of a blast from the past!

You said: "Keeping horses not only requires you to learn about horses, but also to identify and face up to weaknesses in yourself that need to be addressed. It requires you to delve deep into your inner strength and stillness, which can be frightening, because well, what if it isn't there?"

I so relate to this. Just regarding the cost of upkeep and the necessary steadfastness needed to keep a handle on that. Our horses are not working horses as such, not in any way actually, and they are not easily passed on or sold further either. So we are kind of stuck with them. Many a time I've persuaded myself to send them to the 'knackers yard' only to go out and think: HOW? and WHY? They are beautiful beasts. Having 'family' horses in a life has a peculiar effect, their presence is very much appreciated.