It's been a very eventful week here at Sallygardens. Last Sunday our horses arrived and we were very excited to welcome them to their new home. We'd seen the mare at her owners three times; once by ourselves, again with a knowledgeable horse friend and finally we went to watch during the vet check. On all occasions she was respectful and never aggressive and we were sure she'd be right for us. We bought her from Tom Divine near Newtownforbes, Co Longford, who has a selection of lovely Irish cobs for sale that he breeds himself (087 7667091).
The horse was called Patch when we got her, but that didn't seem very ladylike so we renamed her Sally! Her foal is six months old and we've called him Conan. During the week that followed we hit highs and deep dark lows, we experienced self doubt, despair, helplessness and finally hope, understanding and optimism. I've cried several times in sadness and today I cried with relief and joy. Oh yes, the horsey world will teach you many things, not just about horses, but about yourself too.
The first two days were fantastic. I refer to them as the honeymoon period! Sally was gentle and respectful with no signs of aggression as we expected, but on the third day she nipped me. I was then on the look out for it again and kept my elbow stuck out when I was near her so she'd knock into it instead of nipping me. Once I was in the courtyard with her we were fine together, but then she began to get nippy at the gate making it hard for me to get in. She began to pin her ears back when we simply approached the gate and yesterday she flung herself around to kick when we tried to enter.
Why should this happen? At the time I was very upset because I knew it was probably something I/we had done wrong. At some point she tested us and we missed it. She tested us because we are her new herd and she needs to know that we are strong enough to be the herd leader. If we are then she can relax and go about grazing and leave the stress of watching for predators and decision making up to me. Unfortunately I missed her 'asking' me and so she thought, 'damn, I have to be in charge'. A horse will much rather not be in charge but once they are it takes a bit of confrontation and strength (inner strength, not physical) to turn it around again.
Having had next to no previous horse experience various friends offered advice and came to help us with routine stuff. But it had become so bad that we didn't feel safe to enter her pen and so we called in expert help. Joanna Shaeffer of Natural Bridges Horse Training (087 3284251) arrived to assess Sally and within a few minutes she could tell us that she wasn't a headstrong alpha mare and that things would be ok again with a little work. After about an hour of work to make Sally safe and get her listening I went in a took control. On the lead rope she moved back for me, she moved her hind quarters away when I asked and presented to me head first. Finally she went out on a lunge line and turned in when I asked her. I had to stand my ground because she hadn't previously let me be in charge of her so it was an education and a change for the both of us. If Joanna had not worked through it with her first I'd have been in trouble, she laid an easier path for me.
At the end of the hour Sally had turned from a horse that bit and kicked at the gate not letting either of us into her pen, to the horse she was when she first arrived ... ears up and happy to have a rub. At her previous home she was well cared for and she lived in horse heaven in the fields with little day to day human contact. She simply isn't used to being in the control of a human. Now she needs to learn to pay attention to us and know that she is not in control of the new herd here, and that it's ok to leave that up to me.
We are to practice what we and she learn't today every day for the next ten days and then we may be ready to move on with more training. At the moment we are just laying down the basic rules to keep us safe in her proximity. Joanna told us Sally is likely to behave for a couple of days and then may test us again. So stay tuned. I'm optimistic that by the end of it we'll have a great horse ready to work with us and a great relationship too.
To say this week has been an emotional rollercoaster would be an understatement. Getting a horse has been like having our first baby, nothing anybody can tell you will prepare you for it. Life and priorities change and the sense of responsibility is huge but the rewards will come.
